AMIDST THE CLUTTER ...

I am a clutter bug. I live in a vortex of 30 years of clutter. I save everything. The problem with a clutter bug, is that when a special coupon, recipe, gift, or article of clothing is needed or just perfect for the occasion, it usually cannot be found. But it seems other treasures that were utterly lost previously, suddenly appear during the ongoing search for the new, totally unrelated item.

I have a theory about such occurrences. There are the clutter gremlins whose sole purpose is to foil any attempt in utilizing the saved mishmosh of a clutter bug's reserves. These spiteful little critters live in the eaves and nooks of my cluttered home, coming out precisely at the stroke of 13 each night to perform their mischievous tricks and pranks. Those Christmas ornaments purchased after the holiday last year, inevitably show up at Easter, and so on and so on.

Buy two and get one free! - That's for me!!! (Even if by the time I utilize one - the product is hopelessly outdated and unusable!

Buy your holiday/birthday gifts early and put it away until the special occasion arrives! -- I'm still finding gifts purchased in the '80's such as a baby gift for a friend's child who is now graduating from college. Oh well, I just put it away again for the original recipient's future first born, which will be even more desirable since vintage is so in!

Does this sound remotely familiar? After all, there is a bit of a clutter bug in all of us.

Not long ago, I had a rude awakening after seeing a program on some obscure cable channel describing the aforementioned, thrifty, virtuous and good-intentioned behavior as a 'disorder,' Imagine me -- suffering from a disorder??? Oh no, not me. Thus my crusade began to clean up and out the piles of clothes, toys, gifts, expired food items and to turn a new page and a new leaf on life, (and to assure myself that I'm not clinically obsessive).

I started with my closet. I had filled one and one half large garbage bags of clothes in just one month. Although I must admit I did pull a few items out to wear in between, just a few, well maybe more that just a few -- but I will put them back in the bags soon.

Each morning I awoke with determination that when I arrived home after work, I would devote just one hour to clearing out some new area, dresser or pile, but alas, the road to hell...

And, just when all seemed hopeless, I had an epiphany! Yes, folks - eBay! -- The paradise and happy hunting grounds of the nations prime and first class clutter bugs! All my treasures up for bid and on their way to the lucky winners, well almost on their way -- (as soon as I can find the packing tape, scissors and labels that the gremlins have successfully hidden in the mounds of packing peanuts converting my basement into a sea of white foam).

But the point I wish to make is, I can no longer be classified as an obsessive-compulsive. No, no! I've proven I can or will -- at some time, divest myself of all the "stuff." (That tape and scissors have to be somewhere and when my metal detector arrives, I'll find them in a pinch and fulfill my new calling as an entrepreneur).

Until then, I now fit into the category of a delusional idiot!









- posted by rosemary @ 5:06 AM