For two seasons,LOST, has keep a large viewing audience captured in its immense web of tangled subplots, well constructed character-defining flashbacks, while weaving a story line promising six degrees of reparations. Yet, by the third and current season, the killing off of major characters, and the stripping of various story-line threads, have left viewers disappointed and empty.
Backgrounds of the departed, seemingly following paths destined to meet at recurring crossroads of other character's journeys, now appear to be meaningless and incidental -- just as a child's chewed pencil follows a maze's path only to reach another dead end. And as new characters are being introduced possibly inciting 'other' flashback threads, too many prior uncertainties, dangle precariously in limbo.
Somehow between season two and three, the writers have LOST their way and the once, tight-knit series is quickly losing its audience as it becomes a parody of itself. The creative writing team needs to pick up the dropped stitches, before the story pattern is LOST forever in a tangled mess of loose ends. If not, LOST may go the way of "Twin Peaks."
Who did kill Laura Palmer and more importantly, who cares???
Another Mother's Day here and almost gone. Never felt so depressed - guess it's true, holidays just intensify feelings - just make it "more so."
My truest friend lies in a hospital bed, fighting the last battle of his life, and here am I feeling sorry for myself.
I just don't feel like celebrating my failure as a mother today. I am so sad. I wish I could turn back the clock and be a better mother, wife, friend, person. But I can't. I can only try to do better, even at this stage of my life. I am trying, but my efforts are as wimpy and banal as the tulips that arrive yesterday. There is no life in them and none in me.
I really don't feel like a mother, just an egg donor, caretaker, and on the whole, not a very good one for the most part. Obviously, there are issues, deep issues with my son. Keep your distance, son, it's okay. I accept it, and only wish you well. Have a happy life. I messed you up enough and only hope you can work through the anguish.
And to you my daughter, you are a good daughter. I wish we were closer, but I realize we will never have that type of relationship. I know you try and are very diplomatic, but, I'm a hard person to love unconditionally. You need to find your place in this world, a place that will remain physically distant and emotionally far away. Enjoy your independence, I truly hope you find love and happiness in your quest. I will never hold you back.
Sorry my children, I truly tried to do my best. I thought I had done a good job. I knew I made mistakes, but I also tried not to repeat my mother's. They were my own. I realize now that I am a difficult and sometimes an impossible person to love. It's not your fault, but not entirely mine either. My mother was not an affectionate, loving parent and that set a pattern partly responsible for my difficult personality, leading to many unsuccessful relationships throughout my life.
I hope you do better. You may not repeat my mistakes in your parenting, but I warn you, you will make your own. I just hope your children, spouses, friends and acquaintances will be more forgiving.
- posted by rosemary @ 12:29 PM0 comments
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! Well a year later with17 inches of snow rapidly melting -- here we are, another Valentine's Day. This year, I specifically requested "No flowers, please!" I just can't take another bouquet of roses or tulips that sadly and pathetically droop in a few hours, or the same staid arrangements of flowers stuck in foam with a plastic base - nope -- not this year.
Take me on a museum trek, or to an art gallery with an impromptu lunch. Wisk me away to an overnight bed and breakfast. Choose a magical scent or sweet essence to please, or a bit of bling to treasure, or a spa certificate to pamper. OR ...
Forget the above. Most importantly, just be with me. Really be with me. Talk to me, touch me, hold me. Make me feel like you really care. Life is so short, it can be sweet, if we just take the time to enjoy it...together.
If you can't be fun, or spontaneous or original - it's okay if only you would be with me.
One of the mildest winters for the Mid-Atlantic States ever recorded and what are the odds:
A small snow storm - one day + unseasonably warm temperatures - next day = black ice following morning.
Poor guy, doing everything so right, watches his diet, eats organic and even owns a health food store, exercises nearly every morning at the gym, hits a patch of black ice driving from the gym to work, truck slams into a pole - now the healthiest corpse in the cemetery.
A neighbor so excited with his new snowblower, tests it out early in the season with the first paltry snow fall, can't get enough, so over zealous, he cleans out my driveway too. Wow - waits patiently for the next snow storm. He's so ready, December and January come and go, -- nothing! Then finally the blizzard of '06 hits! Out he goes to utilizing his super snow machine and, oh no - the belt breaks just as he turns it on. Can't go out to get a replacement because there's 17 inches of the white stuff between him and the store. Just has to dig out the old fashioned way with a shovel and lots of elbow grease. What are the odds?
HAPPY NEW YEAR -- WELCOME 2006 Holidays were fun. Christmas in Detroit sounds like a bad Lifetime movie, but it was a most enjoyable visit and another place ventured.
Hamtramck - great food shopping, Polish bakery, Eastern market -- interesting places; lots of history, but the inner city -- so battered and beaten. A once elegant lady -- Detroit is a sad shadow of a former glorious and booming city. Half-hearted efforts to bounce back, they have built it -- but no one comes.. It needs the Gods of industry to smile once more over it's abandoned locales blessing its inhabitants with jobs and good fortune. Some how it just keeps missing its mark. Keep the faith - Motown, perhaps there is a new day dawning and the sun will again shine upon you.
Great hospitality extended by new friends. Rochester Hills - wow! Lovely houses, snow falling on Christmas night, outlining a charming brick facade with wreaths centered on a double-doored entrance -- a vision of a Christmas card in my mind's eye.
Good news - lost over 18 lbs since Sept. 1. Have lots to go but this is a good start.
Bad news - life goes on day after day. Same routine, never going anywhere special. Lonely life.
Special news - have been getting interesting reactions from men since my hair change and weight loss. Doors are being held open for me, men are saying hello to me at work, and am getting looks from them at the super market and when alone. Interesting and I believe there's more to come as this incredibly shrinking woman becomes thinner and thinner.
YES, I need to win the lottery. I long to take a vacation - at an all-inclusive beach resort. Haven't been to Mexico. Wouldn't mind trying a resort either in Cancun or Cabo San Lucas or even -- Puerto Vallarta.
Been too long since I've posted. Tivo has certainly changed my life. It is addictive! -- Very much like the episode of "Sex and the City" when Miranda became obsessed with Tivo. I too have found that it's like the Sirens' song pulling me to the shores of the lazy reef to crash and sink. I am a ship wreck, but have survived enough to begin exercising when I can, (with back problems - not very often, a brief walk here and there), but I am actually losing weight.
So far I have lost 10 lbs. in about 8 weeks. I signed up for Weight Watchers on line and have learned many interesting things, but have found that no matter what diet program one follows, there are no tricks and very little treats to losing weight. It's just simple arithmetic:
calories consumed - calories burned = pounds lost or gained.
One must burn more than one consumes to lose -- so simple in concept, but so difficult to do.
Funny though, it's so easy to gain weight. One, two or even three pounds in one day isn't difficult. However, losing one to two pounds seems to take at least seven days to accomplish. It just isn't fair.
When eating low calorie foods there is more quantity, but after awhile, feeling of boredom beget binges of uncontrollable appetite yearnings. When eating high calorie foods there is less quantity leading to an insatiable feeling of hunger. Finding a happy balance is the key. Portion control, eating more veggies and fruits, drinking water and moving the old bod is the true method to attain success. Realizing that this isn't a diet, but a permanent life change is a sad but true fact of achieving goal.
Luckily I like to cook and food shop and am finding low cal/high fiber treats to keep my food choices in caloric balance, thanks in part to the Weight Watchers message boards. It's going to be a long road, but 10 pounds gone, 60 to go! At my age it is better to lose slowly so that the body has a chance to firm up as the inches and pounds disappear, at least that's what I keep telling myself.
Well that's my story for now. More on a future day. Going home now to my measured, weighed and planned meal to be enjoyed in front of my TV while enjoying my special recorded programs.